salam aidilfitri

words may be wrongly put
actions may be wrongly done
thoughts may be wrongly twisted
and because of that, deeply from my heart
just want to wish all of you beloved readers

SELAMAT HARI RAYA DAN MAAF ZAHIR BATIN

cut not cutted!

On the last 3 days before raya, i didn't have any idea when the urge came, what possessed me, who talked me into cutting my hair short!

which turns out to be hideousssss!!

and definitely not even up to my liking.

arghh!!!

la abuela

It means grandmother in spanish :)

This is Zaiton Ibrahim, we the grandkids call her tok ton.She is the mother of my mom.She might look frail and tiny and weak, but the truth is, my tok ton is far more strong and her capability to withstand defeat and hardlife is beyond anyone's imagination.She has the softest voice ever, actually never heard her raises the voice or show anger:).She used to teach Quran lesson to kids and she could make the most, i mean it, the most delightful wajik that is still being missed by abah and I.Oh, I just got to know that tok ton is 80.80! can u believe it?i can't! because she always looks strong and heavenly and nothing close to being 80.And just ask her on any petua or doa for any kind of occasions, she would just give it away.She was staying with us for couple of weeks on the last Ramadan, and i got the chance to cook this dish called ayam masak lemak cili padi, and she kept complimenting it as being..emm... good.:) (She is not only complimenting it, but complement it with the action too, i saw her liking the dish very much:).And knowing her too, she never put hatred on people, no matter how bad a person is.

This is Salmah Ahmad. I called her tokma.She is the mother of my dearest abah.I never ask her age, but I think she is close to 80 (I will ask her age when i get home visiting her, i promise).When i was still a little toddler and about to enter kindergarten, i used to live with her for years (literally living with her since mom was a school teacher and dad was mendling his business so i was under her n tokwan surveillance), and truth to be told, i was very manja and spoilt since i was their first granddaughter.I called her a 'sporting grandma' coz i told her every crushes i had back in my secondary school and even showed her the boy's pictures and she would just nod and listen attentively and claim 'hmm..comel'. Hahaha..and upon coming home from every break, i would hit her house, because i know if i don't do so, she would be asking my dad anyway. And her cooking is devilishly addictive. She knows what i like the most, the ayam masak merah and kari ikan with bendi. Yummmmmmmey! I might be a little bit like her,outspoken, but the plus side is my tokma is one strong woman and knowing her, she would never say no to any queries from her children, well..or to her grandchildren:). And i love listening to her telling stories, because she is a real storyteller (albeit sometimes she uses funny words.ahha..)

Now, why do i talk about these 2 women?Because i know i should be lucky to give and have their love.Evidently, I never know how to reply to those affection, but i do know that my grandmas always have the special places in my heart.I want to be as loving as tokma, and as strong as tokton.If values are to be emulated, i would go for these 2 rockin' grandmas.

to grandmas, thanks for giving me my parents.

only things that matter

to the 2 most important person in my life..

whose patience never cease
whose affection is meant to be shown
who never stop showing us love
who always assuring us things are for better
who never get tired teaching us bout life
who keep up with us for years and more years to come
and for God has blessed us with

and for that...

we never stop loving you
we never get tired of your endless affection
we never be exhausted of your preach on life
we thank God for we know we are not the best to be granted you both

thanks for loving us endlessly, mama and abah.

he's just not that into you

Well, believe me if i say that when i'm in love with something, namely a movie, I could watch it over and over again.And again, believe me this is going to be my fifth times watching this particular chickflit cum self help sort of movie, particularly because..

1) it has most of my fav stars (jen aniston and scarlett 'wow' johannsen in one movie anyone?and justin long, and bradley cooper and ben affleck and drew barrymore.see, i told ya:)

2) and because it was adapted from a book helmed by my favourite self help guru in the names of Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, you can expect it to be satirically sarcastic yet funny enough because they wrote things bout these no-nonsense look at relationship, or the pure lack of it.

It is an interconnecting movie revolve around 6 couples, from melting relationship, broken marriage, false hopes, finding hopes, falling in love, u get the gist.It deals with the challenge of reading, or perhaps misreading human signals and behaviour in the game of love, hate and relationships.Each couple in the movie navigates their own issue and the interesting part is, you might have their issue in you, too.

Few things from the movie that every single man and woman need to ponder and put to thought, as i find it as amazingly true are..

a) being married and the marriage itself do not necessarily make u the happiest, and it does not necessarily complete you.

b) if a girl is to be promised a call by a guy she likes, she WILL WAIT for the call.

c) a guy, on the other hand, WILL USE the line 'I'm gonna call ya' as the most discreet way to diss and dump the girl.

d) some woman can accept cheater if the guys confessed that he cheats before he gets caught, but most woman could not accept liars (especially kaki temberang!)

e) the most unavoidable sin that a married man would commit is to fall in love with another woman, yet promise the devoted wife that he wants to save the marriage (gila complicated, duh!)

f) being perfect comes in the form of your true happiness, even if you have to have it all by yourself, on your own, and without help from others.


Oh, and the best scenes in the movie (i have way too many, so it scenes nonetheless:)

1) When neil (ben afflect) proposed beth (jen aniston), on his bended knee, eventho he initially didn't wanna get hitched, but because marriage makes his other half happy, so he will do everything just to be in the same degree of happiness beth wants.
(okay the point here, he proposed the most romantic way.im being cheesy and darn i love it.ahha)

2)When gigi (ginnifer goodwin) humiliates herself more than one just to make sure that the guy she went out with would return her call (err..checking the phone every 2 seconds, or worse, being offensively mad when her mother called because if the guy calls back, he cant get thru because her mom is on the line.gila saiko.hahah)

3) When ben (bradley cooper) confessed that he slept with another chick (that one hot scarlett), to his wife, in the furniture store, knowing that his wife can't yell or make scene at the public place (classssyyyyyyy!!!)

4)When anna (again, that scarlett), being veryyyy flirtatious, swapping kisses and hugs and cuddles with connor (kevin connolly), but to admit right to connor's face that she aint freaking ready for anything (aren't we always indecisive because he is not what we want?)


Now, let's lobby for 'It's Breakup Because It's Broken' to a movie too...shall we?:)

lil missy.

At the time like this, i know that...


lil missy and dyane yang cute

... it would be another year for us to have the raya joli joli together, right?
I miss you my lil dearie.From the bottom of my heart and the heart is all i have to give:)

Happy Berpuasa , ye sayang:) be seeing u soon.:)

and those were the days..

..when tackiness was hawt!

Oh boy, how i was cracking up real hard, flipping through the old albums my mom placed aside for her housekeeping duty.Some of the tattered albums really provided me a real entertainment, like i couldnt even stop laughing like mad.And one thing i am practically sure of is, the pose were all wicked, diva-esque type.haha..and of course, tacky as hell!
It's either standing or just sitting, please.Camera roll..ready...Oh sod it, aint gonna do both, period.:)

OH.MY.GOD.hahahahahhaha. how more embarassing could you get yourself into??irony!!!!Belon kau saiz dua posen je ke kiah?

That's the signature pose, people.Mulut mau muncung, tangan mau kepit pinggang, lipstick merah, harusssss...i told you, very the diva please. (ps: nadya, if you happen to read this, yeah that cheongsam clad kiddo was you.haha)

Gooodyyy, i so love birthday!Especially when the birthday wasn't yours and you threw tantrum just because you wanted to blow the candles just like the birthday girl.Kan aku dah kata drama queen.(pps: the real birthday girl was the one in red and that's her mom in red too, probably ready to kick me out of the party, being a party pooper and howling like mad )

Rozlin kau boleh tak jgn over posing.Kau tengok tak yang lain pose maintain je mcm geng koir merdekarama (ppps:beach hat, check.Tucked in shirt, double check.The tackiest short, oh pleaseee spare me that!).hahahahha..pose tetap menten sama seperti di atas ya pembaca sekalian.

Te amo, los hermanos.Love you more than a heart could give:)

the greedy hunt

One of the ultimate reason why i am so eager coming back for the break fast session with people at No:7, obviously because of the pasar ramadan! see, going to pasar ramadan at the kangar stadium is somehow taken as an obligation.Teaming up with my dad, we would go n come back with berbondong bondong plastic of kuihs, lauks and whatsnot.Trust me, we have this bigger appetite and going to pasar ramadan with a stomach growling really isnt a win-win situation:).So today, i dragged my dad and paen (they dutifully waited for me cooking up the kitchen) and close to 6pm, the team is up for the mission.

Probably because it was a Nuzul Quran break, some of the stalls are left empty.oh well, i know exactly what im here for and i don't care if they just open less than 10 stalls for the matter as long as my fav kiosks are still up open (i even repeatedly telling everybody in the car that i am specifically wanted to go to these 2 stalls!.childlike tantrum , anyone?)

Bazar ramadan kangar is just a stone throw away from my house, less than 5 mins by car, but since it's ramadan feast, it's kinda jammed packed with cars.Located strategically in the stadium area (hence the name bazar ramadan stadium as the locals call it), you are in definite quest for variation of meals from the rows and rows of the neverending stalls.And what's my quest you asked me? Ultimately this juice stall who sell nothing but fruit juices for just a steal of rm2!RM2!!dont you dare tell me juices are somewhere else to!I hunted high and low for the juice stall like this one, in Kuantan and it leaves me, still with air tebu , soya and more air tebu.Sheeshh.This stall used to sell their juices (you name the fruit, u gotta all it here, watermelon, oranges, dragonfruit, carrot, apple yada yada) for a mere RM 1.50, but hiking way up to RM2 (oh pakcik, kalau letak RM3 pun i still beli air kedai you).Choose watermelon and oranges and close to pick up another plastic of honeydew juice when paen said he wanted to buy coconut juice too.Oh well.

Okay, one down, what else on the mission?

The ikan bakar!Like this one stall, they grilled kembong fish (they called it mackerel do they?), and sold it for a mere RM2 for 4 pieces of the grilled fish.Heck you would never ever find this good somewhere else.So cheap lor!!!!!And the gravy of the ikan bakar..mmmm, so not up to any competition with those ikan bakar stalls in Tanjung Lumpur.The smell is so inviting we ended up buying ikan pari bakar and cencaru too. (Seriously, i still can't find the good grilled fish anywhere in Tanjung Lumpur despite all the hubbub claim that Tanjung Lumpur has the best grilled ikan bakar.Well...i beg to differ, please)



And we went to buy paen's fav stuff too, cendawan goreng and they even got this udang sanggul.The prawns are all wrapped up with this crunchy, wanton-like skin and fried till golden.emmmmmm.

esok nak pegi lagi.hehe..remind me to bring my camera too, wokey?

an LDR you say?

Now, if i ever get back to the game of love, i really do have 10 reasons why i rather fit for LDR (that's a long distance relationship for you) instead of being stucked to each other like siamese twins.

1) i am not a cut for those everyday lovey dovey get together.u know, seeing the person 24/7 a day, and to complement that, a never ending phone call.u can either get one of those, or none.i feel suffocated to say the least.when you're in LDR, you kinda have to make used the situation that he ain't there with you every minutes, which is perfectly okay by me.

2) love grows when you're apart (okay, sounds yucky and corny)

3) absence makes the heart grows fonder (now , sounds tad corny but less yucky,that's more like it, :))

4) I always love the vibe and the feeling of missing someone.The emotional state of being apart and could only get together once in a while, be it just talking on the phone, or skyping.And being all giddy when he's finally there.Having the same feeling that both of you share.

5)I like my own space and i respect his.Which means regardless how much i'm missing him like heck, i don't need to know every single stuffs of what he's been up to and guessing he is thinking about it too.

6)There are moreeeeee stories to be told when you finally get together, and the intensity of telling the stories, no matter how crappy it be, is so much more it moved up another notch.

7)It teaches me to be very independent (and looking back on my previous relationships, it really was!) and not really relying much on him which is good because if things turn sour i still know my way around.

8)i like having the sentiment of missing someone dearly without him having to hover around me.haha crazy biotch?

9)to have the chances to post him yucky romantic stuffs and to be able to deliver it verbally via skype without looking like a total dork and hopeless romantic washout

10)im just not good being too clingy

noted:these are all theoretically pondered and baseless.Don't start assuming:)

of wishes and hopes

It's true to say Ramadan is the blessed month of all, the chances to be the better servant and asks forgiveness.And to pray for wishes and for the wishes to be answered.It has been 15 days of Ramadan, and there are stories to be shared, of the cherished hopes and desires.
I just got to know late this evening that my colleague has gotten pregnant again, after her miscarriage 2 months back.And who would think she's getting pregnant again as it just been less than 2 months after her fateful incident. I went to see her the day she being home warded, and looking at her, i knew devastation was all over here, to lose a baby but she kept herself up, and gained back her spirit not long after.And I believe because she's a nice person, she's gotten her prayer answered.A ramadan baby as the gift to keep moving forward:).
Coming back to work after a long day in the neverending teaching session, i was suprised by a friend saying there's bit more rezeki for me in term of the paycheck.And yes, alhamdulilah it is:).Wasnt really expecting it to be done this fast as we were told that all the claims are only to be entertained next year, the very least.So we didnt put any hope and just going to imagine it's going to be a normal Raya without bonuses and all.Now that's what we call rezeki, won't it? and of course,more for my tabung ostolia.hehe..
And the toppest rezeki of all, i am a free woman, to say it literally.The curtain has closed and the show has ended.3 years battling and how it made me this strong, knowing that i have a unit of family who backs up my decision no matter what and i am truly blessed with all the endless support.
Ramadan is indeed the month of prayers been answered.
and hoping this one prayer will have its call too..

ai buat tutorial masak ni.kelessss...

Taraaa...these what i had for break fasting today.And please, none were bought okay?i am well surrendered with all the 'makanan tak sedap' but look gorgeous being displayed at the ramadan bazaar and what else to do on Sunday than whipping out your own food?So there, made myself this ayam masak merah (close to tokma's recipe but cannot challenge the boss la mehh),fried buncis and carrot with prawn (prawn bapak besar tenggelam carrot aku), the not so pretty looking fried fish yang taste marvelous (it's selar goreng tempoyak okay?walaupun huduh tapi rasa bes gila nak pitam), goreng cempedak and teh limau ais.HOMEMADE!

My dear beloved sista wanted this recipe for ayam masak merah since she came across my so neverending list of food fiesta.ha ha

First thing first,get the chicken ready, fry them all.Love my chicken crunchier even for the masak merah.Ended up just eating 1/4 of the whole plate of chicken.heheheh


Fry the sliced garlic.The red chillies are meant for the garnish part later.Jangan masukkan cili sekali, hangit sapa nak makan?


Now come the crucial matter, pembentukan zarah zarah wap dari cili blended hasil buatan sendri ni.Sebabkan ai rajin, ai blend sendiri the chillies, kalau malas beli je, takde undang undang nye semua kena blend sendiri (kau membebel apahal kiah?). Secret of the blend, eh takdelah secret beno, hehe just some cili kering (rebus dulu , kali ni blend cili ai warna oren merah, ai like...selalu kaler kusammm je), with some garlic and shallot.Jangan lupa blend the bijik keras sekali.Time nih no biji keras, all the tamat tempoh only, kenot be used anymore.hehe.
Masak cabai blend tuh, masukkan air asam jawa skit (jgn banyak, kang masam bedengung).Masak lama takpe, agak kering masukkan air sikit sikit (jangan banyak, ini bukan kuah laksa..wahh kau ingat kau chef zam ke rozlin?).

Then masukkan serai ketuk (hidden somewhere behind the wooden sudip),gula n garam jangan lupa,err...note to be shared, rupa kuali kurang cantik, nanti nak beli baru atau kebas saja dari rumah puan inson.Then masukkan santan peket, sikit je takut muak banyak banyak.Godekkan lagi then masukkan ayam goreng tadi, kacau rata, biar menggelegak then baru angkat


Comel tak hasilnya?Cili potong adalah untuk effect cantik.Tak letak pun takpe, ai tak makan pun, eksyen je lebih,hehe:)

sesi tutorial sudahpun habis, sekarang ada rasa mau makan nasik.apakah maksudnya?hahah

i found my gem:)

Ooooooohh..im so swooning on these hair masterpieces!!Arent they lovely??And they are made to order, mind you.These gorgeous hairbands are exquisitely hand made by these two uber trendy workforces by the name of sereni & shentel.Am planning to get my hand on this beautiful baby for the coming raya.See, im saving up:).Instead of forking out almost RM3OO (mom, please don't freak out, it's for the raya hair.heeeee) to get my hair done, i could just order this for ehemmm..rm150.But im saving up still, see:).Yeah the downer part of it is , it costs more than what u pay in the regular hair accessories outlets.But it's sooo pretty i can't stop my evil urges to have one of these!

this will look fabulous with any gold and black kebaya, wont they?


the bow is genius..and to have it in turquoise, brilliant!





aren't these lovely??how can u not love this?


pic:sereni&shentel.com

what's cookin, cookie monster?

Ramadan would be one of the months in a year that i go craving for food, and on the food that i don't have any desire before.And it would be the month where you go transforming yourself being an uncredited chef.I cooked more during Ramadan than i do all year round, you know, getting handy and experimenting with foodies that i never try before.Like i never try my hand on rendang, but now i am so wanting to treat myself to that.Or asam pedas, or ayam percik.YUM!!

And when you are superhungry, flipping through the recipe books and pictures are the biggest sin because you are so inclined to whip all those food ready.Like i was browsing Women Weekly in the office (heck yeah im working on Saturday!) moment ago and came across strawberry smoothies and am salivating on it now!And those oh so divine strawberry cream sponge cake! Oh my my!

Need to note what's cooking for break fast coz food in bazar ramadan are so frustratingly bland!Whetted the appetite but so unappealing in taste.Here's my Ramadan list anyway (or do u have any better idea, mom?)

1) ayam goreng cili (chillies pounded with garlic n then fry with oil and make up for the fried chicken gravy.A must!)
2)kari tenggiri (huuuu..the curry is to be reheated for few days until it thickens.Lagi sedap okeh!)
3)tomyam (particularly ayam and udang. not really fond of having squid though)
4)ayam bakar percik (my colleague lettin out the secret recipe for the percik gravy.It was amazingly so easy!)
5)steam fish (with julienne carrots and garlic and gingers and some sesame oil sprinkled on top.Kena pulak ikan kerapu..hmmm..noted, sila beli steamer dulu!)
6)ayam masak lemak cili padi (tried and tested, need to add more bird chillies for extra kick)
7)ikan cermin goreng with bombay onion (fried till brown n crunchy.Oh goshhhhhhh.)
8)daging masak sambal hitam (I loved this recipe, even presented it on hari raya.Ramai puji cakap sedap but the preparation wise..tedious!)
9)ayam masak kicap (5 minutes recipe.Headache free.haha)
10)ayam masak pedas (chicken, again??takde choice okay, nih je aku reti.har har)
11)sambal udang (still am using the mamason chilli paste that is soooo frozen for weeks now)
12)buttered prawn
13)kari ayam (noted:jangan letak more than 2 packets of curry powder or it ends up having the similar taste to curry padaiyappa.heh!)
14)sambal telur

I dont know, these are what ive been thinkin tho, and i know, looking at my 'professional unscripted culinary skills', these are what will be repeatedly made anyway.haha im so not picky when it comes to foodies and cud end up having similar recipes repeatedly.

hmmm..come to think of it, i am still on the quest to bake some cookies anyway:)

weary worry

Truth to be told, im a little bit weary and even close to being lethargic.can't believe that i wished i was given more time to complete all the assigned works.Feels like the works and even the day would never get done.If you could only see my working table you'll see what i mean, not even a space to put my elbow or my handbag.No kidding.And you know what, the frightening part of it is, i kinda love being chased with work.I mean, it gets me going and halts me from doing all the unnecessary ponders and thoughts that i normally did.It's really tiring, it is.More into the functional of brain since im not considering myself as somewhat organized, as long as i get the job done.But with the work flowing in, i kinda have to keep track with what's been told and whats needed to be done, pronto.

And because of being too weary, i ended up not going for the dentist appointment.i slept till 830pm and it was way too late to even drive to town.Dr ling told me one the back tooth needed to be extracted, before it requires an operation or so he said.I was kinda buying time going to see him coz i thought the dreadful day for that has finally over!That i no longer need the extraction nor scalling session.Uh oh!Probably i get my guts back after the hometown homecoming this sunday

Talking bout going home, i still havent bought the ticket.Bugger!

chances

Don't know much about your life
Don't know much about your world but
Don't wanna be alone tonight
On this planet they called Earth

You don't know about my past
I dont have a future figured out
And maybe this is goin to fast
Or maybe it's not meant to last

But what do you say to taking chances
What do you say to jumping off the edge
Never knowing if there are solid ground below
Or a hand to hold or hell to pay
What do you say

I just wanna start again
And maybe you could show me how to try
Maybe you could take me in
Somewhere underneath your skin

Hey now my heart is beating down
But I'm always coming back for more
There's nothin like love to pull you up
When you're lying down on the floor

taking chances, celine dion

u say 24?

I need another 24 hours per day just so i could complete these never ending work!

breathe in..breathe out..breathe in..breathe out.

No seriously give me nother 24 HOURS!

oh rats!it's a birthday!

First rule of friendship..

Always always memorize your friend's birthday cause failing to do so will heck explain what kinda friends are you.Lousy probably.

I am so lousy coz i forgot nyah's birthday and we 've been talking bout it days ago!how cud i forget hers?geez..im not normally a forgetful being when it comes to birthdays (albeit a no brainer when it involves passwords retrieval.ha ha).i always keep it plastered in mind of my buddies date of birth, or at least remember to send the msg the day earlier.You know why?coz when people forget my birthday, i wud go sulking all day and feel useless and unwanted yada yada yada.So me not going to do that to anyone, swear.So when it happens, and was only realizing it's her birthday when she announced that she bought herself a pair of shoes for her own birthday gift and she wore nice baju kurung purposely for her birthday but i am so freaking absent minded to even realize that.duh!

so to nyah,
KEEP ROCKIN AND HAPPY MARVELOUS BIRTHDAY!!YOU KNOW AGE IS JUST ROUND OF FIGURES.means nothing..really!.:)

the blessed month

Ramadan comes again, too bad i can't just have the first round of Ramadan.Yeah the red district calling!Uh!.Even made prepared with raw ingredients in the fridge for nother round of cooking up the storm session.Guess i have to wait for another week to be able to berpuasa then.
So what's new this ramadan?Well, wouldn't it be that obvious already that my best friend is no longer around, and my housemate is also moving out.Yeah try spelling out fasting alone.I am not sulking, it just the feeling of having my best friend around, touring the pasar ramadan, oogling on food, and spending money buying stuffs we won't end up eating that's what i'll be missing the most.And no one to share stories while digging on food over break fast, or sumbody to knock your door 10 minutes before the imsak's over.I missed that too.

Happy fasting and may this be the most blessed Ramadan ever.

ps:Ramadan is the holy month to say some prayers, doesnt it?i so want to pray a lot:)

hair talk

Coming from a person who always complain that the unruliness and fuzziness of the mane giving her headache, well.. can't believe it has grown this long!!
The only complain is it takes forever to be dried, and not that practical when gotta rush somewhere and then it gets all limp at once.And the amount of shampoo used, uh oh, don't let me start of that.But anyway, complains aside, i'm quite happy being the girl with a wavy hair since i know i look like crap with the mane straightened.Believe me, been there done that.Never even work with my face structure.It makes it rounder n bit more chubby!
so, wavy rocks!

random.

"the intensity of knowing you is the reason i'm waking up smiling.."-anonymous :)

moneymaker

In the matter of hours, i m going to start my first stint as a part time english lecturer in one of the university nearby.My first part time job since the last 7 years ago.Yea probably the only reason i'm going for this is im hungry for money.haha.Evidently, money is needed if i still have that same hobby of mine, traveling. And to just rely it on the pay i'm gettin now wont get me nowhere, or atleast not gonna get me across the globe..to Howth maybe:)

I should have started my part time job weeks ago, but given the mismatched timetables, and for some reasons totally outta this world that i was given a set of students who are not even being registered yet!The second intake student!And they have this gut telling me that they are also unforseen of the number of students who are goin to enroll.In short..i might not b getting any jobs means no extra money!DUHH!!

When i started to contemplate the idea (prob having this part time job isnt such a good idea after all..it sucks the holiday mood out of me and im stuck in pahang because of this anyway), i got the call from the girl again, saying i'll b given nother class, different timetable, same pay.Oh yeah??So yeah, Im going to hit it today, see how it goes.If this isnt flow nicely, then im just gonna save HARD for the aussie trip (ha ha, as if this is not enough!).And if the aussie trip gets halt, im so going to buy me this gorgeous, expensive bag im dying to have (okay, im not that dying to get any, anyway.i JUST need to get something to splurge)

And guess who's in town?My dear ever so dear ronggeng cik kiah and entourage.zarina's here! ahah and i so want to see her, guess im not that okay personally not having her around.she's like my bottom part of the body, i can breath, but less on the move:(.And i seriously need to pour to you what i feel about 'that thing we both know'.See ya this eve babe!
Laundry done, pot of coffee done, floor swept. what else?


oh yeeeee....time to iron those clothes:)

cougar deal

kutcher, u demn got the one hot mama.lol

During my undated tv and popcorn night, i stumbled upon Courtney Cox while surfing the channel and spent an hour watching her new tv comeback after the defunct of her tv series Dirt.It is called Cougar Town, and for those who are still not coming out from the cocoon, cougar is the 'new' word popularized by the likes of Demi Moore and Halle Berry and Madonna.Yea you got the gist, those women who dated young guys, with the word 'mama and son' tattoed on the forehead, well likely.
Im not gonna talk over the tv series as i hardly watch it (am more Rachel fan than i did to Monica actually), but the word cougar is what intend me writing this. What perplexes me is the reasons that cougar being given so much exposure.I dun see any hullabaloo with the situation.I see nothing bizzare of dating women half the age.Men dated girls young enough to be their prom chaperone, or to pluck the grey hair out but nobody ever gives any objections on that (anybody queries Hugh Hefner?).Or probably people do smirk, but just because men do this, and it happens all the time,so it becomes the norm and make it common to the society.Nevertheless, when the women in the 40s striding the sidewalk hand in hand with a 20s something bloke, something is not right, or probably be seen as tasteless affairs altogether.
Okay, to be honest, when i was in my early 20s, i did date a younger guy, how young?well let just say he still can ask for a pocket money from mommy. i didn't even intend to like him since my policy was simple, young guys are ewwwww and old guys are double ewwww.I was in my varsity years and a regular customer to this one hang out spot.He came ask for number after few weeks and we dated and he bought pressies and flowers and cute cards.So i wasn't the adult in the situation but he did.He listened well, he joked well and did i feel any awkwardness or discomfort or embarrassment in dating this mama's fav son?.Hell no.So the feeling of dating younger guys would totally be the same with dating guys your age.Or maybe im talking nonsensical since in your 20s you didn't have any wrinkles or crow's feet and that probably shut the blabbermouths of people but it makes a total difference when you have the set of old signs but arm in arm with a total eye candy.
But then again, it's no big fuss.I totally believe these women dated young people for a reason, or the reasons would probably sound like this..

1)guys got married at so freaking young ages and that left the women with the choices of young dudes
2)guys got married early and sensible women won't date married men and thus leaves them with the choice of young dudes, again.
3)why settle for the other 40s old bloke when you can get half the age?
4)the urban world of the 40s women make them fashionably stylish, sexually attractive amusingly smart and knowledgeably experience (okay so i have Madonna in my mind when i write this up.haha),something a 20s woman can't even come close to.
5)they just wanna have fun! (go blame Cyndi Lauper for the anthem)

Me?i am 30 yes but i dun think i would settle for guys younger than i am.I've been with couples and i know for a mashed up mind and emotion that i have, i need more security and that i probably won't find in younger guys or guys my age.But who knows, till i am sure that i wouldn't be in any cougar series, i am open to any possibilities
Doesn't life is all about possibilities? (wink..wink:)

license to drool

i tattoed what i cook hey!

American schools dissed my food diet programes, no?

Lindsay Price, u are so grilled!

move over bourdain, culinary world is getting even better with this saucy hot pans!gone were the days when chef being portrayed as old guys with little (or so not little) bit of tummy, and oh so unflattering aprons and that tall white hats with a pouched crown or whatever people called it. and dont let me start on their communication skills where for years we had been given these images that chef would only talk bout foods and nothing else.And whipping out boring foods too!
Now, thanks to this one devoted channel for the worshippers of food, chefs are now come in the forms of those...
HOT MEAT ON THE PLATES BABY!
haha..okay the only reason i ever turn myrself to AFC is to catch these guys in actions.I believe it's more than a number of chicks would be drooling over and wishing for Curtis Stone to bring them home (oh come on, just look at the faces of those women where Stone managed to persuade.They driveled more on Curtis than they do on those chopping boards). Oh on the other note, he dated and is still dating Lindsay Price from the Lipstick Jungle.Damn she got herself quite a dish!
And who hasn't chuckled seeing the only naked chef on the planet?i know he is such a klutz (he kinda messing up the kitchen ya know and to some sort he is a mess), but he made it look cute (to me at least, i found his splutter way of talking rather hot.haha).He did make diet food sounds so delectable and grow your own herbs near your kitchen window as rather cool!
Ah, please do add the new hotness on the frying pan!The tattoed Chuck Hughes on Chuck's Day Off, sheeshh he makes food making so deliriously rugged.He got restaurants and he tattooed himself of food (oh well, who ever think to get himself a lobster and a lemon meringue pie up and down the arms?Chuck does!)
Sniff sniff i so do want to mention the kitchen goddesses too but im too focused on the guys i try to put nigella, or padma or laura calder to the back of the kitchen door for now.
So you know, being in the kitchen not necessarily being smeared by flour or reeked of fishes n meats or pieces of vegetables got stucked in your sleeves.These steaming hot cooks have proven the opposite and going to make me glued to the cookery channel for a long time to come...
even for i do not cook.he he..

the good life comes with its own handbook...NOT!

of all the complete idiot guide series in the market, none come close to teach people how to live life, or how to handle it when issues unravel. u gotta have everything that the 'idiot' cud teach, 'the idiot guide to soccer basic' (so u cud b ready for another 4 years before those football fiasco again), 'the idiot guide to perfect job interview' and heck they even have this complete idiot's guide to getting out of debts!
but why..oh why...nobody even dares to pen down anything about guiding people when issues come hitting?like, how to say no when people keep asking u for things that seem unbearable for u to say NO?or what to do when u keep having emotional turmoil when it involves the fellas at home?
just look around u, how many have turned themselves crazy, or bicker just because they cant even handle their life, since aint no manuals are prepared for them.and dun let me start to even talk about those people who are depressive and have xanax as the best friends.wudnt it be nice if pamphlet of life n ways tackling the emotional turbulence are given together during birth?so they cud study on it early?or at least come prepared?
sheesh, im rambling.
and probably the solid reason why i need my own idiot guide manuals to life.

when it takes more than brain to work

no matter how hard i try pushing myself and getting it back on track with this blogging thingy, i guess time does run its course.that i am practically so over the stage of laziness and this is definitely no apparent , logical reasons of not blogging.i need some sort of comeback (ha!) , muster all the energy to pen down thoughts and ideas again. even mom did ask why am i not updating any.okay okay..here's the reason of why's
1)i have no hours to spare for any part of bloggin (even i have so many freakin new things i wanna talk bout)
2)i have no new things to blog about (eventho i have so many freakin hours to spare)
3)i have so many things to ramble but couldnt do so because i know ppl are reading and im not those people who hide behind 'protected entry' or so it means.so no point writing if it ends up being the only me reading. okay ..so this point is utterly rubbish but heck i just dun like hiding anythin even i like it being hidden sumtimes.sheeshh..gedditt??
4)some of things got jinx if i start talkin n blogging about it.
5)err...that i am inconsistenly such a lazyass?

ibu mathali

the candidate posing out

Yo JKKK Sena Division, listen out!I got reasons why my mom is the most ideal candidate to covet the best mom or ibu 'mathali' of the year (errr..mom i hope u know how mithali is spelt.ho ho!!) The elemental reasons are...
1)she is the strictest teacher one cud ask.Reasons why her kids are doin good educationally.(You kinda have to do extra well if u got 2 strict teachers in one house.Dad included.
2)she never says no when we say we need money.Bet u dun have lifesize ATM machine in your home.hehe..kiddin mom, but u know u cant say no to us, your ever so poor kiddies.
3)she doesnt go bitchin about people, nor she joined any gossips shenanigans in town.The only gossip she ever fond of are deriving from forum.cari.and yeah,can be hours on it alone.ha ha. 4)she is known for her innate ability to predict thing, almost accurate.example:if she says there is JPJ roadblock ahead, then there is JPJ roadblock ahead.
5)heck, she keeps up with us the rascals.4 kids, 4 deviating attitude and most are dreadful.hahahha
6)and to keep up with her sibling too.woo hooo!!!that one, a real hands'down.
7)she is one cool mom (she knows what we are doin and we dun need to pretend good just to please averybody and that's the coolest part of all)
8)she was and still is a devoted scholar.yo, her students still acknowledge her till now!cikgu inson rocks , y'all!!
9)she owns blog.mak kau ada?
10)and.....albeit all the turbulences,she is one strong, very very strong human being God has created.u have no idea how!

my holiday is robbed.

After 7 years devoting my working life in the same institution, i still don't get how our holidays and working schedule being planned.I mean it, it is somehow ridiculous how it is planned to the extent that u probably have to worry going back to work rather than enjoying your supposed holiday.
Take this for an example.According to the academic calender, you are 'entitled' for 2 weeks holiday (or so 'they' claim).But the fact is you only have a chance to enjoy a mere week, whereby for the other week, you need to be at work, doing nothing!Clocking in and out and thats probably the only significant things you do for the whole day.You call this nothing maybe?well, try to be in the office when you have no classes to attend (the students are leaving for homes, remember.Oh in case you don't, it is called a semester break thank you very much).So hows the day in the office spent sans the students?kemas meja, siap lesson plan, gosip skit skit.Lemau ok!I freaking mean it.I dont mind being in the office, i really dont...but i need work!I need to do work.i cant just be there looking into spaces.We just cant.If you have nothing good to give us, then just let us go for our deserved break too.
And yeah, about this too.We were given 2 and a half weeks off (if my calculation accurates, mind you), where ive spent one whole week relocating myself in the hotel for marking session, and heading back to perlis the week after.So im supposed to be at home till the new batch of students register on the 10th of may, right?RIGHT???well apparently, no.We have to be in the office on the 6th (Thursday), public holiday on the 7th (Hari Hol for Pahang,kalau tak silap, Friday), and Saturday n Sunday for the weekend off.Heck, i just need to get back to work for ONE FREAKING DAY!! geez, not all people love to stay in Pahang, ok!and not all people hail from Pahang!Some, really are from the far away land, the northest of all where going back to the hometown wont come spontaneously.Not all people, live in Pahang, yang ikut suka nak balik pukul berapa, pegi balik hari to work??geez, i so want to do anything if its the last thing i could do to save myself from this hullaballoo.Now i wish somehow it's much more convenient to give us the 30 days annual leave dari ikut cuti students ni.So the students get the benefits of their semester break, but not us the lecturers.Then to cut the chase, why dont just give us the annual leaves like the rest of the office workers?.At least aku boleh plan aku punya break pi melancong dari terkejar nak kena balik office.Geram betol.
Entahla kan, menceceh banyak pun tarak guna.Balik balik mmg kena tunjuk muka jugak kat office, kata celebriti kannnnnnn..haruslah mak ada memeriahkan majlis.Takde kang, pusing satu Malaysia pulak cari mak ni haaaa...wahhh, menceceh kalah azwansilaserali gitu.dah la, im out!

ini adalah luahan rasa, sila jangan terasa.muahahha.

been drugged

If you want to start talking about addiction, let me tell u that im not the one who hooked on the designer bags, or fancy cars, or any modern gadgets (gee..probably im gonna be the last women standing to ever purchase iphone or blackberry or any berries that come along!).But after much thought, i know i have fallen into an addictive traphole of caffeinated java.
see, one glass or even two wont be that bad u say, okay what about a glass every few hours?given that u have 24 hrs per day, make it to 4 to 5 large mugs of good ol brewed nescafe.emmmmm..just talkin about it makes me drooling more.i just need to start a day with a huge glass of ice nescafe, oh please that even if im in rush and need to attend my 8 am class.A day wont be a day to b kicked off if ur not equipped with that.Seriously, my kids see that..i got sleepy, a bit woozy and probably maddier for any broken language utter in my class.
And things got worse if im curling up with good books, darn there are those glasses again.Some of my books even have the tainted circle of glass, kinda being the bookmark somehow.har har..When dining or pigging out, guess u can order the drink for me since u got the hint now.Bad eh?no , this is crazy.
Crazy that i cant sleep much, that im still wide awake and the eyes are rolled like it wud pop out anytime soon, even at 5 in the morning.Crazy that u feel ur skin getting drier n aint much glow from the java drug.Crazy that u even cud fight for the last satchet of nescafe if that's the thing u have to do.
oh on the other note, teringat pulak syida punya accusation..."tak suka nescafe nanti kencing bau nescafe".har har...sorilah nok, idung mak ni dah kembang dgn bau nescafe.ehhehehe..

a place to call heaven

It is just a small terrace house on the housing lots, with the malaysian flag waving crazily comes the windy days.Pots and pots of flowers, that would include the broken ones too, are scattered on the floor, and some dirt from the soil have washed the color of the tainted tiles.Some of the plants do need the watering, left wilted by the nature.Cats, being the sole frequent visitors to the owner's house, sprawled lazily on the tiles, and would be seen licking their paws and stretching idlely while waiting for the owner to come home n feed them.It was all calm n quiet, and really an ordinary home.
the home to where the broken, mindless soul finds a peace of sanity.
u know, my sisters and i always find it a rejuvenating escapade, to be home despite how it looks like.home is where the heart is, and i cant deny it, being it the only place in the world where i cud just forget issues.i could just stray inside, moping round the house, watching tv, munching on those junkies and spend hours trading gossips with mom.Or probably just playing hide n seek with those cats, making them annoyed with us fooling n kissing them aroundThe only place i wud ever get myself going is to grandma's and the rest would just be cosying at home.
So before anyone says this is the boring way to spend ur long deserved break, i beg to differ.
Probably packing my bag and being whisked away to islands in the world would seem the greatest idea of ultimate gateaway..but being here, is all that im asking for now.

the wired chompers

i cant believe it has been a year since the initial visit to the dentist.who could believe me, of all people, to have such gut?gearing up for the dentist so my set of chompers would totally be in 'line' would definitely not even a plan in the beginning.i mean it, ive been living with those for years, well..29 years to be exact, and i think i didnt have much trouble with that.none whatsoever.
well..i was smoothen by nyah's neverending persuasion and the necessity to make do of something i've never done, or even thought of doing it.
yeah, i am now an avid follower of ling's patient, craving for every 'doctorly' visit, and checking out for some transformation and changes on the teeth's position.it was, wow..seeing is believing.checking out the teeth is probably the ultimate discreet obsession.it is a wonderful liberation getting to do something that u used to fear for all your life before.
i am no longer fearing the process.
should be done the same to life, definitely.

drama king

Black & Meet Uncle Hussain - Drama King

Kali pertama aku mengenalimu
Mahu bersama
Mahu bersama
Raut wajahmu bersih
Meyakinkan hati ini
Aku terpaut

Semua dusta palsu
Aku tertipu
Keperibadianmu
Berubah menurut nafsu
Panggilanmu gelaranmu
Baru ku tahu

Chorus
Lakon layarmu hebat
Terpukau ku melihat
Isi hati murahan
Sampai bila
Kau mahu tersesat
Tidak kau penat
Hidup penuh muslihat
Mahkotamu Raja Drama

Kau masih berpura-pura
Kata-katamu hanya propaganda
Mengejar hijau ungu
Mata kelabu
Ini bukan kau yang pernah ku kenal dulu
Panggilanmu gelaranmu
Baruku tahu

Ulang Chorus

Panggilanmu gelaranmu
Baru ku tahu
Kau bertakhta
Bagai maharaja di atas lembah
Lakon layarmu yang terhebat
Memukau mata melihat
Tidak kau penat
Hidup penuh dengan tipu muslihat
Sampai bila Raja Drama
Sampai bila Raja Drama

Tidak kau penat
Hidup penuh dengan tipu muslihat
Sampai bila Raja Drama
Sampai bila Raja Drama
Tidak kau penat
Hidup penuh dengan tipu muslihat

u'll know a hypocrite once u see one, not easily detected, probably take years but hell they are really good in acting coy and ever so goody (pijak semut pun tak mampus, ye).and now like..lihatlah dunia.ahha..
my sis did say...

how ppl can change frm being low key bout their life to hey-world-look-at-me-now attitude.

bull's eye..sis.:)

these doable things i know

No one in the world can ever say they have similar way of handling all sorts of shitty situation, be it heartbreak, divorce, death..whatever seizes your happiness hastily.One can just smile and hide all miseries, or one could at least swear on the wrecked fate.and keep on swearing.
Believe me, i know it the worst way, and i know it ain't easy forgetting and forgiving.Probably, not ever.Being in that sucked up relationship had hit me that sometimes, it was best to be place into test.I never know that one day, i would wake up and realize that all tears are for nothing, and all the broken dreams are doable to be mended.I never know that one day i could simply vomit to just remember those dramas, and to laugh at stupidity of those shits.

Cliche as it may sound, you need a little drama in the life as real life drama add to the intensity of knowing life true meaning.You may on top on the world on Sunday, and come crashing way below the ground on the coming Friday.

To talk bout coping might be little out of question, i had lotsa helps coming in the form of my bunch of those lovable crazy bunch in the office n of course the fellas at home.I can't never do that on my own.But hey, now that i sort of realizing that coping comes in many, many ways and that way i might not even notice doing is the tangible way getting me out of the mess.

1)watched cartoon.i mean it.lotsa lotsa cartoon.watched tom n jerry or scrooge or just good ol mickey mouse.NEVER watch melancholic, over way tooo corny cartoon, so the little mermaid is a definite no.

2)go out if your friends ask you to.dun just succumb to the loneliness coz u know u tend to be a drama queen when no one watches you (cry for hours..again).Just go out for the sake of going out, good polluted air might do you justice (heck, better than getting your brain polluted, no?)

3)do things that u've been stopped before.Nobody going to piss at you.Go travel, go buy those clothes you want, go and splurge.It's your money, anyway.No hands are good to spend the moolah but you:)

4)exercise.u've been keeping the fat way too much by just stuffing your face with food (gluttony over despair, who won u think?), or u get too skinny by not eating since you are way too busy stuffing your face into the pillow, crying your soul out. Yoga is the best, it meditates, it doesnt require you to jump and you can still do the puppy pose even when u are all soggy from crying.And you learn the proper way of breathing, good breathe will rule out negative vibe.And try belly dancing, makes you sexier and let you feel even sexier (flabby tummy and emotional breakdown are 2 suicidal combination i believe)

5)cry your heart out.Those who say..stop crying coz it aint do you good.To heck with that.Cry takes out tears.Tears are water and water washes out dirt.So yeah, you washes out dirt of your brain and soul eventually.

6)Go back to the little place you've known as home.Seeing the familiar, warmth faces at home are the indefinite therapeutic healing even when they say nothing at all. You just need to be at the utmost comfort zone where not even a single shitty thing can hit you. I hit home more than i hit anywhere else in a month.

7)Be silly.Act like nobody cares.Laugh even when you heart doesnt want to let go.Your equally silly friends will help you being normal by being you. Laugh to the idiotic jokes, make fun of your condition and let people laugh with you for that. i rather them laughing than pouring out sympathy anyway.

8)Take time to live and learn.Coping never easy, it comes with stages.When you get over the hatred and anger, then you know it's time you have healed.

one too many

Oh god, i really don't know whats gotten into me lately.Seems that I'm in an indefinite quest for password retrieval.I never realize that I'm so bad in memorizing these kinda trivial matters that somehow it plagues me like a disease.I mean it..im not making drama here!First it it all about the birthdates.Seriously, if you are among those that i wish on the very exact date of your birth, then consider yourself lucky.I can't even remember my siblings' birthdates particularly well, for god sake.Then comes the all the formal matters, the dates of job approval, appointment for DG raise, the tax number and even the exact wage, to name a few.My source of information is none other than Wahid, who is always ever ready to give you the exact amount of numbers needed.Well, that's not such a biggie, u say?
What about forgetting your passwords?Passwords for streamyx, for the emails, for my citibank online banking yada yada yada.Oh my god...this is seriously irritating!I tried to standardize every single sites that require me to provide them password.I did!But heck, i even forgot that very precise passwords!And yet today, my maxis broadband site would have to be under the forgotten numbers.Im not going that senile now,am i?
Uh oh...

declaration

before i turn 40, i now hereby declare that:

1) im going to finally muster my guts and do the bungee jumping
2) and to sky dive for that matter
3) i need to practically brush up my spanish, in the real land of spain.
4) getting back to school and complete my master n phd
5) getting the SX of 4.
6) getting married at the beach
7) adopt a kid if 6 is implausible
8) for spain, rio de janeiro and the mardi gras and loy kratong
9) getting own crib
10) stop swearing as if my life depending on it.
10) being better human n definitely a better servant of god.

sheesh..10 years aint that long.or shud i just pick one for every 10 years?

finding Michelin.

Little did i know that finding good place of Malay eateries in Kl is like digging for gems.There are so many places around, but does it really come up to the standard?It was a mere nightmare finding places to munch for his coming since he places the priority ..to dine out!well, not that im no good in finding places to eat, but we are just frequenting the same eateries for so long we stopped searching for other treasured diners.
can we just head for mamak, ian?that wud be the society's norm of dining out.mamak rules!haha..

oh yeah, mamak is already on the list.bugga.

before the worst

god, can this week get any worse?its really not my week, the travelling claim has mysteriously stashed up somewhere (read: i want my money.and i want it ASAP~), health wise im not really doing well either, throat is burning and feel bad of wanting to scratch it, and to top it all, it will be the last 2 weeks to enjoy some time with the housemates.
Yes, now, first the yiyin, now it's kolim.it gets lonely not having those bambinos around.the truth is, i got closer, emotionally attached to them without me realizing it.not having them around, not having them with their antics, not hearing them with their babytalk, i missed all those and probably going to even miss it more as time goes.:)
and about the travelling claim.it really drives me up the wall with this shit.don't even know where it goes wrong, ive checked the particular, the account number, like, repeatedly so i wont get jinx with the numbers.And it irks me that the rest of us had gotten their claims.
Fak.fak fak fak.
on the other note of dismal tragedies, syida sprained her ankle yesterday.Definitely not the best morning after a night out of bowling tournament.Since it was swollen and and she could barely heave herself, we went n scouted the traditional masseuse.It was all the way in the Felda settlement, quite nice actually if u love the traditional architechture for the matter.And the people here are quite helpful (haha, okey probably just a person, since he was the one willingly lead us to the the exact house with his bike.turned out he was jubilant seeing my car plate number, which probably drove him to lead us.Orang utara jugak okay..so sapa kata oghang utagha takdak semangat kenegerian??hehe).
oh my, i got class at 10.another test to go, another stack of papers for the eyes n brains to feast on.till then, happy mornin:)

revelation.

weeeett..im back.haha..like i ever go anywhere untraced.or unnoticed.curi curi pegi kuantan pun pun kantoi dgn kereta bos.i have no legit reasons for not blogging.im just ..probably tired.of writing, of having so many things to say, of having issues to ponder.
so now im back, and hoping i could muster energy or rather i say, the enthusiasm to recall whatever happened to me for the past month sans the updates.
It's official that my best friends are both pursuing new roads in their lives.my other half, the inseparable non-related blood sister of mine is now basking in the new working environment.watching her departure was a heart ache, but both of us agreed that the parting doesnt mean she'll go for good.it wont change things, and not even to change the value of our friendship that i wud say, no one cud even explain or connect to.u are forever be my guidance, a confidante, a friend that i know would always be there, even distance might be the worse enemy.que tenga suerta!
another good friend of mine is having her good time of life too, a new start of a new journey of hope n life:).congratulations on ur wedding my dearie lia, it worth all the pain and for once, u deserve all the smiles and happiness.sun has shine, and it wont stop shining definitely.u know, i dun really do weddings these days, but hell, i wont let those whirring emotion stopped me.seeing the family pic is all worth the coming:)
what else, oh ya, im 30.like, 30..30.haha.u gotta wait for the next 10 years to see the first digit changes. so far, im enjoying my newfound age.i get to know one nice guy, and he will b travelling all the way across the indian ocean to spend his easter here.not hoping anythin out of this realy, but all have been good.or i hope its good.i dont know, its too early to even think of anythin good or bogus for the matter.or probably the 30 marks sumthing new.we just have to see.i just have to see.writing this makes me a bit apprehensive.i dont go talkin bout my life much these days, or plastering pictures of newfound renown 'glory' yada yada yada.rather bein a keeper than a talker.its good that way i guess.
so, for a 30 year old women, i feel good.and i hope it stays for nother 10 years to come:)

the art of work

over a plate of unfinished nasik lemak and glasses and glasses of caffeinated drink, we girls somehow endulging ourself with a serious peptalk about how the education system in malaysia works on students.yeah babe, we do talk those serious matter, in between those juicy gossips and sensational rumors.
okay here's a thing,i personally think that albeit of those superbly well-constructed curricular, deep deep inside, the educational system has somehow depriving students to strive for something that they are unsure of.true, we have the streams of fields, the sciences and accounts and whatnot, but how many of them are really applying what they learnt in school to their real lives?and even if they are, how many are really up to practise what they've learnt?how many are really passionate about their job?not all of us are born to be a trained professional engineer, or a doctor, or a pilot, or not even a teacher. some, are more fascinated in baking cupcakes, or making the necklaces out of beads, or painting the faces pretty.some, are not educationally good, but exceptionally fantabulous in skills and artwork.these people, might not be good in all those frilly, ardeous subjects, but give them things that are doable, they gonna nail it more than anything.
well..it's not gonna happen here.not in our country where being excellent in exam and bringing out As are the MUST DO for every kids.beat the kid who got that 20 As and u gonna be famous and damn make the country proud.don't get me wrong, am nuthin against the system, it just that, doesn't learning actually mean to bring out the best in you?why bother learning something that you are not even interested in the first place?
my suggestion, start by feeding those interest of students.create more courses that are more life-based skills.make it to exams, if that what the education persists on students.but test them on their skill.have classes on how to bake cake, or arrange flowers, or apply makeup on people, or all those craftmanship.focus on what interest them, not what interest the government.
forcing sth on ppl cud end up with them being mental, u know.

i know this shit gonna happen!

damn it..i lost all the rambleness!!!!!!gila aku dah type panjang lebar.arghh! stupid office internet

The Girl's Guide to Everything:whats in the handbag?

Camilla Morton, the guru of the 'girl guide book to everything',declared that a girl's handbag is her own private sanctuary and only the very privileged, loved and trusted are ever invited in.
Now, the crucial question deeply lies, what are supposed to get in what are supposed to be chucked out?well, let see what Mrs Morton say about the absolute thing.

mobilephone
wallet and money
you will always need a cent or two for any dire emergencies.toilet entry perhaps?
notebook
she says inspiration can strike anywhere.especially you the poet, the drama maker, the lover, the song writer and the list goes.
pens and pencils
you never know whose number you might need to scribble down and obviously lipstick has never been that reliable. Scribbling the hot guy's number using your Dior?hot, but not that hot.
lipstick
or lipsticks, in that case.one is for the lips made from the signature look (red bloody Chanel anyone?), and two, a cheaper one of any signature.no use of wasting your Chanel on a rebuff, she said.
lipgloss
add shines and shimmer to a sexy pout, and a very user friendly to apply sans mirror.
perfume
to the places where you wanna it be kissed.smack smack!
keys
door keys and car keys.even when you lose everything, you dont want to be locked out from the house or ur own car.that is so unstylish, yelling for help getting into the house at 3 in the morning.
safety pins
no need to cry when the buttons pop out, at the appropriate moment. the complimentary sewing kits from the hotel are perfect enough.
compact
she asked to turn back n get the powder if u ever forget it.there's nothing worse than a shiny, glistened face. and 'i need to powder my nose' is one excellent code for 'i need to escape'.from the bad date, obviously.
roadmap
optional if getting a cab, but essential if u r driving
big bag address book
with all the numbers you need for the practical emergencies, for work, for pleasure, for romance
diary
business card
a good way to give out your details without appearing too forward..err she means too desperate.
spare pair of shoes and plasters
comb tissues aspirins mints

now let see if yours truly really practised what Mrs guru preached.
wallet and money
no use of having wallet sans money now, yes?and rm10 seems so inappropriate to the very demanding lifestyle nowadays.
pens.no pencils
black pen.good to pen down any dork's number.oppss...which reminds me.need to return the pen back to abah.:).borrowed one now.
lipstick
take that Mrs guru.i got like 3 different lipsticks of various shades and pouts.Chanel or no Chanel, im surviving this pretty amazing!
lipgloss
the bobby brown glosses.got that one too:)
perfume
the last vial of complimentary D&G has been used.so im a bit 'naked' really.
keys
cars key.checked.car keys with the hanging cow figurines?double check.and i stupidly left the house keys on the car which is about 300km away.bah!
compact
to be honest, i got 2.the bobby brown bronze compact and johnson&johnson clean n clear pink compact, which works on my skin miraculously.loving it, i mean , the latter:)
mints
a MUST!good look, good clothes, good appearance but nasty breathe?a major turnoff.
movie tickets
oh boy!!!that is just for a month viewing!

and the other not so essential but somehow are the most welcome..
the Dettol sanitiser
Mrs guru forgot about the swine.bad now.
thumbdrive
and no diary or notebook?this is so millenium.
lipbalm
work like wonder to a chapped, cracked lips
Panadol menstrual
for the time of the day, when u feel like doin nothin except crutchin for life.
Sony music player
or just plug in the earphone if u dont want people making any conversation with u.
butterfly hair clip
camera (not in the pic)
nice clean knicker (not in the pic)

so am i survivor or what?

queer guy for the eyes

Despite noted as being vulgar and crudely indecent, nobody is going to deny the fact that adam lambert is the g.a.y u love being in loved with.and i am.in love with him.if he is going to be forever having this polished look and dashing image, who cant be blamed if u fall in love easy?and does'nt help much that his voice is rather agreeable to the ears.ive been tuning to his latest single like every 2 second.
now it feels like kris allen is so yesteryear.


Hey, slow it down whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Yeah I'm afraid whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

There might have been a time
And I would give myself away
Oooh once upon a time I didn't give a damn
But now, here we are so whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Just don't give up I'm workin it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Yeah, it's plain to see (plain to see)
That baby you're beautiful
And it's nothing wrong with you
(Nothing wrong with you)
It's me, I'm a freak (yeah)
But thanks for lovin' me
Cause you're doing it perfectly
(It perfectly)

There might have been a time
When I would let you step away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life

Just don't give up I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep comin around
Hey, whataya want from me (Whataya want from me)
Whataya want from me (Whataya want from me)

Just don't give up on me
(Uuuuuuh) I won't let you down
No, I won't let you down

(So I) just don't give up
I'm workin it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up (It messed me up)
Need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me

Just don't give up I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me (whataya want from me)
Whataya want from me (whataya want from me)
Whataya want from me

(what do you want from me, adam lambert,2009)

well hey, i want you for sure.yum yum!

merry new year.ho ho ho.

i have a confession to make.

Im tired of reading the wishes and the well wishers welcoming the new year. Facebook, friendsters,blogs, u name it.come on, that is welcoming all those uncertainties. how are u so freaking sure your new year gonna be any different from the rest?if u intend to wish the jolly good luck, would u just wish that everyday, not having to wait for nother round of new year to make do?or if u wish u wanna be a better being, wud u just change urself?whats the use of all the merry new year?reasons for u to make resolutions being identified throughout the year and which u know u never intend to resolve?i know i know..im being bitter and lil grumpy, but cant blame me as i dun believe in welcoming the new year coz its gonna be the same ol shit.partying, firecrackin, all the hoopla and does it change anything?freakinghell no.there are still debts to be paid, personal life to be sorted out, works to be organized.cud be worse.cud be even nastier.

and that is why i dun bother making any wishes.coz i know im not going to be honest to make one, just to jump into the bandwagon and do the 'thing' that other people do, for the sake of honouring new year.more than that, it's nothing really.wish is going to stay as a wish, and be forgotten in 2 minutes.i have goals n resolution, i do, but they are the same resolutions and goals from the past 5 years which i havent master to resolve, some of it.not yet.

so before u start labelling me a sicko, and before u said i aint cool not doin stuffs that other people do, so there....

happy new year and may u stick to your resolution for another next five years.

girls' daynite out

on the boxing day..
* we had a great outing.i mean we, the girls (mom included).heading up to penang, gps'ing the road (we used the human gps which means that's what mom is for.ahahhaha), got stuck in few roads n junctions, some u-turns and i would safely say that u cant trust me on penang road, every nook and cranny.still.

*hitting a very packed chawrasta, again.this time eena wanted to see it for real, and the euphoric feeling of seeing the book is surging again.i am ever elated.

*wolfing down food at padang kota.charkoayteaw rm8 and a huge plate of rm15 pasembor of absolute variants to enlighten your tastebud. plus the ais kacang and nasik goreng kicap daging rm5.emm....gluttony at fault.

*having the very nightmarish experience for every female driver behind the wheel at nite (my nitemare, at least).the tyre of the kembara nearly exploded if not because of the crazy klunk klunk sound it made and how the whole car kept on vibrating and quivering when it reached 80km/ph.and the tyre man who was stopping by to change the tyre (seems like we were the damsel in distress.haha), keep on trying to feed us ghost stories.mind you, we stopped the car at almost 730 pm and it was all dark n 'junglish'.

*we had fun gigling, laughing, talking and bi***ing.ada sesapa nak terasa disini?

this the jolly celebration

am wishing all celebrating a merry jolly christmas and hope the year ahead brings more wonderful stories to be shared.

merry ho ho ho ho holiday!

xoxo
misslyn

keja gila. gilaaa!

having fun and having to do all the dirty work in order to have fun are never ever going to be a great combination!period.i just dun get it.u call this appreciation nite whatever it is when you , in fact, gotta organize everything for ur own jubilation??whateheck. and please..like we have nothing else to do than being there in the hotel till 11 pm when all we cud think of is to b there early to our 8am class the next day.yeah i woke up late today coz i was so freaking tired!.geramnyaaaaa.....
why cant you people,just give us space to enjoy our dinner rather than running here n there in heels just to make sure everything is dem organize.sorrylah, i rather get my money burn n rather dig my face on a plate of a mamak mee goreng than pakai cantik cantik tapi end up not enjoying any single thing of it!erghhhhh!!!!!!
sorry la mom, gotta be a whiny biatch for today.tiredness rules everything.thank you very mucho

saltwater room

time together is just never quite enough
when you and i are alone, ive never felt so at home
what will it take to make or break this hint of love
we need time, only time

(owl city, the saltwater room, 2009)

irresponsibly happy

the hardest job is making one you care the most in his happier state, no matter how he keeps on saying this aint your responsibility.
it just me.i cant change something within me, the inner me.i care on people i love the most.even it breaks me.it is suffocating, yes i know but i take my chances.
coz chances are not going to be with you the next day, probably. at least i know what i do best and get something out of things i do best. and if i fail, then i know i failed good.


just going to be in my vanilla twilight.

almost close to go clubbin.ahahhahaha

well , the weekend started off with me having to attend a course.on saturday.kinda bummer since i had to abort the plan of going to kl to berjimba.haha.i am so wanna go shopping!!and not helping that charles n keith is having the sale of the year!but am not gonna complain much, shud be thankful this course somehow helps adding up to my 7 day prerequisite courses throughout the year.yeah, been missing few courses since i had to attend the hearing.in fact, nother one is coming up real soon.so....cant wait.
so right after the course, acik n i dashed to catch our movie, Jump.one heck a funny movie, i know stephen chow wont be any dissappointment.haha.the first laugh was when we noticed our movie seating arrangement.much to the amusement!whats with our seat being place farrrrr away from any human being (funny enough there werent many people watchin it.maybe because we had the earliest show for Jump).remember about the splattered popcorn, zarina?the seat was a real mess it feels like there are kiddies sitting!anyway, we had real laugh.easily a distress kinda movie if u stuck with those state of emotional inconsistency.really a laughable movie!
so whats next?goin home?nahhh..hit the holler room thats it!!they got this new karaoke premise next to the movie theater.enough to satisfy my lust for redbox session tho!rm15 for 30 minutes and the choices of song aint that bad (aint bad at all .they got alicia keys ya'all!.thats what im saying:).so for the next one hour, we warbled the best we can (which i can see the other side of zarina.ahhaha..i know u gonna get hooked babeyyy!).went lepaking at kopitiam for an hour.hey, 2 throaty crooners need to have their caffein fixed, dont they??so, going home now u say?no no no.
coz its gonna be nother movie session for us!and this time is storm warrior(only now we noticed that we chose hongkong movies back to back!).thought it gonna make me sleepy since i hadnt catch the first installment, but heck i was wrong.been awoke the whole 2 hours and almost gonna laughed seeing this one gent next to acik who was literally snoring.ahhahah..and i thought action anime movie gonna make a girl yawned!
so at what time all this madness ends?
we reached home at almost 3am.and it had been realy really a great great out!!

maniac mane

the maggi and the spageti (circa 2007)

i am in a serious need of a new hair revamp. i dun care wether he likes it or not, am gonna do all the chop chop thingy.im tired waking up to a fuzzy and unruly hair (noted:it does look good after the shower tho, the curls n everythin, but it compromises nothin when it's all dry). and since my hair is thicker than the rest of any normal human being, it took hour to get dry before i can wear my scarf.acik called it lion mane. j called it lionnes, even in a sense of awe.hahah..

i was born with curly hair, u know that kinda hair when it gets real frizzy?i had to live with scrunchy and hairband all the time and silently revenging that one day it gonna get schooled.so yeah, on the elevation of my teenage angst, i straightened it, much to my mom's bewilderment and annoyance.well, i thought i looked good until i got it all bored n boring

so yes, i recurl it.

so you see, it is always good to feel good about ur own natural being.in my case, the insane mane.went to have proper treatment before the last raya (the coloring and recurling), but was told that my coif is as curly as it shud be, which needed no treatment whatsoever (or so the stylist said).j said it is okay, the way it is now, n think im in no need to do any chopping.come on, i cant take a guy opinion into account, can i?even joke that i might go all britney (sans the hair, not the underwear) n if i ever thought of doin that, he wud love having the honor to shave it.haha.

so what now?for the sake of easy maintaining, i really cant wait to make it tame.it's bein out on the wild sometimes now:).

chop chop!

meet you there

If we could sit together a moment
And talk forever just to pass the time
I would smile as the shivers and chills run down my spine
With your eyes are locked on mine

Oh we will fill the metro skies with country air
And when you close your tired eyes I'll meet you there
I'll meet you there

Deep inside of you there’s a ruby glow
And it gets brighter then you and I will ever know
There’s a rushing sound that surrounds us when we walk alone
And it’s everything we've never known

Wander down the street
And I would be the pavement beneath your feet
If we could just be immobile for some time
And finally figure out the way we feel
About the missing puzzle pieces and cloudy question marks
It still looks a bit surreal

Oh I tend to disappear here and there
So concentrate and you’ll feel me everywhere
And well feel the metro skies with country air
If you’re lost when you close your eyes I’ll meet you there

You could be anywhere
I’ll meet you there
You could be anywhere
Open your eyes and see everything you can be
I'll meet you there

(maybe i'm dreaming, owl city, 2008)

dec entry

okay.i got 5 mins to update my blog before my first class begins.

okay, blog been updated.

hehehe.nanti nantilah cerita lain.this is the entry for dec.at least i got one goin:P