i woke up this morning, expecting the emptiness and gush of sorrow just like i normally feel.but as i opened the eyes, it was another stream of mixed feeling that hit me.the feeling of calmness that i never expected to feel before.
it was the sunday.the wedding day.
it just that there is no wedding.
i jump off the bed, while my 2 sister were still sleeping soundly.i took a minute to scan the whole room, seeing that it doesn't change after all.i went to the living room, seeing abah just got back from buying breakfast, like he always does.upon watching me, he stroked my head slowly, and took me in his arms, hugging me tight.there is no word completing his acts, in just a moment i realized there are tears coming down after all.but i know it's not the tears of regretting, just the tears of realization that sumhow i cudnt make them happy.i hugged mama, soothing her, saying that this is the way God tested us, so be it.
i just can't believe i cud be this strong.i thought this sunday would be different. i thought i would just lock myself in the room and cry, pitying out life that hasn't been fair to me.
i guess God listens to my prayer, that i wanna be stronger and happier.
to the only man that is there in my heart, who gave me love and took it away, i pray God makes you stronger too.
this too...shall pass.
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of the gibberish ramblings and the thoughtless thought