sacrifice

So the pictures above represented how I celebrated my aidiladha this year. Just me and the girls, whipping up simple chicken rendang, sambal tumis udang and nothing-to-be-shouted about lemang.Since the girls couldn't make it home, and I miss-look the date of raya hajj, and managed to grab the ticket home only after the first raya.How enticing. Woke up when the prayer being called, had an early shower when the girls were still sleeping, took wudhu' and performed my raya prayer, alone with the guidance from the nearby mosque.

And with that I couldn't stop the tears from welling down my cheek, thinking of all the sacrifices that I should have done but I haven't because I am so selfish that way.Thinking of what other sacrifices could I do for the sake of the Above, without asking Him to pity me and require something in return.Thinking why I couldn't still sacrifice my usual self for what He has asked me do, praying that He won't take my life so soon so I could go back to Him.Thinking of why hesitation always got into my way everytime I wanted to do and be good.Thinking of what in the world I could do to both of the old ones at home, so they will stop worry about me.

Thinking and thinking.

So yes, my raya is somber, but it does make me more humble.

Selamat Hari Raya Haji everyone, albeit being the fourth day of raya when this post is published.