this is it

truthfully, i am not a person who really like retaliating, being in war of words agonizing me, but if route of my life requires me so, then i guess i cant forever stay mum.
i never say i am the sole victim in the game.people who are close to me are victims too.we are deluded to a game looked so genuinely pure in the beginning it ended up with more than handful of people got hurt.still, they were allowed to feel that.they've been betrayed.but if YOU, feel that in such situation u were the victim of everything too..then i don't know what kind of being are u.
let me tell you one thing, to know that "man"of your life cheated on you in no less than a month before the wedding, more on the fact that both "man"and "woman"started dating when u were crazily preparing ur wedding arrangement, no close to having proper sleep and each day anticipating the big day, to start thinking of what kind of wonderful fresh start u wud be having, while both of the "man"and "woman"?well u both know what you were doing.and to add salt to the injury, right after ur broken engagement, you got to know they were scheming their own wedding.
stop writing as if this is in God's hand.yes i know that, and as human being and as a devoted muslim, i understand perfectly what redha means.i understand what it means by qada n qadar, what it means by jodoh itu di tangan tuhan.but havent u been given options to choose whats right n wrong in ur life? to know that u stand in between the lines of good n evil, to stand in the lines of ur selfish happines and a marriage of a man to the girl he courted for 4 years.but u have to make a choice, havent u?and yes the choice brings u to where u are now, being 'contented' as this is ur jodoh.and u keep on saying that you are happy and absolutely elated.
alhamdulilah then, be happy as it is what u wish for, what u are fighting for all these while, building happiness on people's misery n tears.and yes, semua yang berlaku ada hikmahnya, and one hikmah that God bestow upon me is the chance to be grateful to Him, to be thankful for every life unworthy n worthy events, to be given chances to be stronger and to get back to Him as He is the Maker who knows what we dont know.between the earth and the land.between good and bad.i am all redha.
but as i am redha, i wud not wish anything bad on people, not wishing people to not getting married, or pregnant, or the possibility of the husband to cheat as history might repeat (God forbid).who am i to judge you and people, to put forward all their physical weaknesses and their outward appearance, to say them lack of this and that, because i believe we shud look in the mirror more.maybe , just maybe sometimes u are so engorged with the contentment of life u are so "strongly' pursue, u forget that it is good to look in the mirror sometimes, if not everyday.
my parents, yes the old pairs in the house, have done their best to raise their kids. teaching them to respect people's right.and to not be selfish.or heartless.and i know they teach me right.syukur, alhamdulilah.and even i ever say words that are unforgettable and unforgiven, then u dun have to squirm and fidget and be derange if there is nothing regarding to yours.
well.. maybe it does, after all.
as this is being the longest entry i will ever talk about my despair of my broken engagement, i wud never feel to write anything about this again.for those who have been following my blog, yes i dun dig out the stories as it used to be hurtful to not only me, but the rest of my family especially to the pairs in the house.and i didnt dig out it since im much happier in life as God granted me my wish, for those to be over n get done with.
i am now in my journey looking for my own paradise, as there are journeys and routes of life that are yet to be endured.a journey of looking for a paradise that doesnt need me to hurt people along the way, insya allah.

estoy buscando un paraiso'
mi paraiso..:)