finally:)

if i cud have sworn on..
f**k u both , loser bastards..

but i dun.

coz the stunned,flabbergasted look on 'his' face is more than enough.









it's priceless.

makan lagi..

what a day..we've spent the whole afternoon chitchatting at lina's place.sheeshh..i shud have taken a pic just to show u people our own version of parliament session.riuh tak hingat u ols!ahhaa..the best part is, our parliament is well completed with food!!actually it is the food who leads the way.lina brought kueh siput aka tat nenas keras 'kedekiang' (deriving from the experiment goes wrong.hahha..), behun and kepok leko.this does not include one whole tupperware of roti gardenia n its set of serawa courtesy of nyah.kenyang babe!its been a while since we last lepak like this and just have fun munching on food and savouring on gossips and such.tapi tak ngumpat ye:)skit skit je.i guess this gonna be the affair of wrapping up days towards the reaching of ramadan:) boleh ke macam ni?chit chat chit chat here which brought me to this...i shud have gotten home n pack my stuff n start the journey to kl.abah n mama are going to 'celebrate' ramadan with us all in kl.ta for now:)

the holiest.:)

ramadan..

is just around the corner.the holy month where u can actually be human n better servant of god.there are sooo many things ive long to do coming ramadan like fulfilling my terawih calls,cleansing the acts, cooking instead of pigging out etc.

to my dearest families and friends, fellow muslim sisters and brothers whom i know n yet to know, please forgive for all my wrongdoings.for whatever i do and say. im just a weak human being who sumtimes let the bad part of me doing most of the actions.if i ever cross ur path, trust me i didnt mean to do it the way i did, and if there are nother road to take, i would surely take it:).hope we are able to do ramadan to the max

sorry for everything and once again, salam ramadan from the frail me:)

the greatest guru.

life has been a great teacher.it teaches love will wilt,it teaches that people change, it teaches u the greater life ahead..the ones u never imagine u cud be.once ur in love, and in second ur out of it.once u are with sumone, and in second ur back to be alone.once ur top of the world, in a second uve been crashing hard to the ground.life is magic.i just need to know how to experience it wisely :)

peculiar me?

1.im crazy lookin at other's blogs. their stories intrigue me, their life fascinate me, their pics humor me :). i can keep on reading n reading for hours, for blogs that i dun even personally know the owner

2.i dig bubur so much.n i keep making bubur for afternoon tea n late supper.sedap ke tak letak tepi.even my apak pun naik heran he was once asked "buboq lagi???"

3.im in love wit meet uncle hussin n hujan.sound poyo je kan but dunno lah, feel the greatness of their songs, even tryin very very hard finding superfast downloaded sites to get their songs.

4.i can bable n nag my cat, mok for hours.like for today, we smelt poopie, n searchin where did mok went pooping, but to no avail.so in like every hour, i wud nag n berleter to him to practically tell me where the poops would be hidden.sheeshh..i must be losing my mind.

5.i 'seek' n 'find' new me.and i love it!cant believe i would totally love sth that i once despised

6.i superfuckin hate blu inc n its products.lamanya tak melucah!

7.i cringed to the word love, sayang, love and more love.it makes me wanna puke.seriously n it got nuthin to do with me n the stupid engagement.guess the hormone is back to balance.

sleepybum

gosh..im so sleepy albeit goin to bed early (if u cud call 3am early).been eyeing what wud get into my stomach later this afternoon.i got like 4 more days to go.kinda tiring fasting when people around u are hungrily chomping n gobbling on food.i was half awake tis mornin in my mornin class, tryin hard to make myself conscious to the kids.(dun even care much for latecomers today).gosh lyn..it's only 11am.u are so lack of sugar!

where does the good go

love is for those who blessed.i would not be the best person or neither do i in the perfect position to even begin talkin about love.but it coudnt stop me for being happy, at least for sumone else's love affairs.my long time friend from perlis, who just managed to walk out from her wrecked marriage, might finally find the one.we had a very long talk about her probability to begin another serious committed relationship.i know it aint easy to start trusting man after what had happened, believe me..when the love is murdered by the one u truly put ur trust, u had nowhere to turn to.that maybe..in the beginning of sprung into life again.but i believe her to have extra efforts to handle the blossomed relationship.funny is, she finds him just the exact way i found mine.and these are what i told her..
it is okay to be afraid
it is okay to be terrified of the unknown
it is okay to be prejudiced coz not all people around us are dealing with the same phase of life
it is okay to be in love again becoz love itself is about discovering the bitterness in life
it is okay to cry once in a while when u start comparing the one that went away n the one that makes you his princess
it is okay to smile upon promises
it is okay to feel stupid when things do not get ur way

and for all the unanswered questions would be answered later, believe me.just look back on the diary ive used to write
i noticed that life was much better and easier when you have less to think about. not about money, not about hurting hearts, not about being hurt, not about succumbing to people's need.that was just, being free. but life ain't easy. as clock is ticking, you gonna be bombarded with lotsa questions.
like...
would i make a right choice?picking up this man?i dont know. that was exactly the question i've yearned somebody to answer.it's a bit tricky.tis sort of question you would know better, not anybody else. God, i wish i would just be shown some ways, low or high, whether to pick this man is the noblest act i will do. please, help me.
23 july 07
and i got the answer in no less than a year.i so feel you my dear friend

i find me

haha..i need to find 5 more people to create the cloning cult.appaling...eh?:)

ps: dear girl, sorry to post u in the blog...but my friends cudnt stop comparing us.hahha:)

sisa

Apa makna rasa itu padamu
Apa maksudmu segalanya ada pada diriku
Apa ceritaku tiada satu kau teramat perlu
Apa yang kau lihat itu seadanya aku

Benar satu itu ada padanya
Benarkah kau terfikir itu tiada padaku
Benarkan aku buktikannya itu pada dirimu
Benarkan dirimu fikir kemungkinan itu.. ooo

Mungkin kaukan terseksa jika bersamaku
Mungkin jua kau kan sesalinya seumur hidupmu
Mungkin jua suratannya begitu
Mungkin aku bukan yang kau kenali dulu

Benar segalanya ada padaku
Pernahkah kau terfikir itu tiada padamu
Benarkan aku buktikannya itu pada dirimu
Benarkan dirimu fikir kemungkinan itu.. ooo

Mungkin kau kan terseksa jika bersamaku
Mungkin jua kau kan sesalinya seumur hidupmu
Mungkin jua suratannya begitu
Mungkin aku bukan yang kau kenali dulu

(sisa:nitrus 2007)

the day i feel like a gladiator

pic:courtesy of gossipboutique.blogspot

tell me where i can buy these uber gorgeous shoes which meant to be worn with tiny superduper micro mini skirt, yet that got to be no problemo coz u know u are still beautiful no matter what u are wearing.okay, off the crap.anybody, if u ever come across this pahlawan roman shoes, do tell me.it looks good here..well at least on the model's feet:)

i so love mockery

i so want to love + hug+ kiss+ coddle those who create this contemptuous mug wit its malign remarks.ha ha ha!!! so do i get this for my post birthday gift..anyone?

corazon roto..

i don't need your affection
i don't need your thought
i don't need your intention
i don't need your warmth
i don't need you

colours part 2..

the replacement killer..!

ok so what is all about fair and square in love and war? no im not talkin about my relationshipless..but im talkin bout the job ere.see, we had this anugerah kidmat cemerlang (APC)given to those lucky gov servants (hell...looo..they've gotten like rm1K okayy?).so we were the host of the event.and being so ever popular with those perkara perkara la'gho ni, i was again appointed to handle the show.just this time i was involved in poem recital.thats not the point here.what i try to POINT IT OUT here is that the event took place on MONDAY where the students were all given HOLIDAYS! n we were not since we were workin our a** out to run the event.okay what's the point again u ask? the main point here is that we need to REPLACE that gone monday in the coming saturday.what the..we are replacing for what?we came to work on monday anyway.who asked the kids to go home??i have plan.people have plan.stop treating us like we have no matters n family to care of.geram aku.in the meantime..here are the pixie.(masa ni tak sakit hati lagi :)

better in time

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile
cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time
If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok
Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is
I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

leona lewis (better in time , 2007)

colors..

if whatever shows potray the feeling within..

another painful day..

it's no longer than 24 hour i posted a story bout moi wounded shin, and now i am down with fever n very dry throat.what's next???

but the again..kesakitan adalah penghapus dosa dosa kecil as i remembered reading.:)

the day when the pain is bearable.

it was the regular sunday.as we had not planned of going out, plus it was drizzling outside, syida and moi suggested that we had our cooking session.it's been a while since i last cook..well to the matter of fact that it's been a while since i last got myself back on track.so off to the kitchen we went, n i kept on imagining yesterday's gulai ikan tenggiri.so to cut the story short, as i was transferring the ikan (it was the only piece left on the periuk actually) along with its tomato n bendi to another glass bowl, it exploded.okay...so exploded might sound harsh, but it aint funny when it came with the open wound n swollen part was as big as the ping pong ball.at first everything was ok.i wasnt panicky or anythin, funny thing was i tried cleaning up the mess while syida was astounded with the wound and whats with the blood that keep gushing out.went to the toilet, washed it, rubbed sum gamat oil onto it, wrapped it up with tissue n cellophane tape.well thats what i always do when handling wound n such.but never i imagined that it cud swell to the size as a pingpong ball and as syida put it, the wound was kinda smiling widely.ha ha funny !but later when i finished my zohor prayer n took out the self made bandage, there it was.syida asked me to seek for medical help.as it was sunday, the clinics were all closed.hello...doctors!do u guys have regular hours when people supposedly fall sick?so there is one clinic, but i was so close to strangle the doctor since he refused to do anything (well mind you, since the wound was kinda open n 'smiley' he was afraid it cud be infection n needed to be x rayed).so again.we went straight to ER in hospital besar.the wound was cleaned, but again the nurse afraid the glasses might got into the wound, so she asked me to go for a thorough x ray.as i was waiting my turn, as i sit there alone, all sorts of emotion coming to me. and as i promised not to let any tears drop, it disobeyed me.
it's much better seeing blood that u can touch than ones that u know u cudnt see.
as for the wound, ive got myself three stiches n lotsa love from people who deserve me.

any given sunday

i woke up this morning, expecting the emptiness and gush of sorrow just like i normally feel.but as i opened the eyes, it was another stream of mixed feeling that hit me.the feeling of calmness that i never expected to feel before.
it was the sunday.the wedding day.
it just that there is no wedding.
i jump off the bed, while my 2 sister were still sleeping soundly.i took a minute to scan the whole room, seeing that it doesn't change after all.i went to the living room, seeing abah just got back from buying breakfast, like he always does.upon watching me, he stroked my head slowly, and took me in his arms, hugging me tight.there is no word completing his acts, in just a moment i realized there are tears coming down after all.but i know it's not the tears of regretting, just the tears of realization that sumhow i cudnt make them happy.i hugged mama, soothing her, saying that this is the way God tested us, so be it.
i just can't believe i cud be this strong.i thought this sunday would be different. i thought i would just lock myself in the room and cry, pitying out life that hasn't been fair to me.
i guess God listens to my prayer, that i wanna be stronger and happier.
to the only man that is there in my heart, who gave me love and took it away, i pray God makes you stronger too.
this too...shall pass.

savage garden.

there was a garden..not exactly a garden of eden.but they like it there.both of them just love everythin they saw.colourful flower, gushing winds, cold stream of water.everything was perfect.nobody says no,everybody can be happy.she was happy, that was the moment of her life.she has never been in the garden full of flowers before.it made her terrified to just touch the flowers.it was so magnificent it made her scared.but he said okay.u can have all the flowers u want, these all being planted for u.she was unsure.but she lay there happily anyway.but he wasnt happy.he looked at the flowerbeds being destroyed.he looked at the stream of water where she just put her feet.it made him uneasy.he planted all these..why can he endeavour these first before she ruined it.so he said nay.he didnt want to stay in the savage garden anymore.it made him uneasy.he cudnt bear looking at the wilted flowers, the ruined flowerbeds.so he walked..walked n walked n keep on walking.she was left standing, with a flower in her hands, the one where she keeps on holding since the first time they came to the garden.the unwilted flower.