Tuesday, October 25, 2011

let's not jinx it shall we

The great news came in September, but till now I still need to constantly pinch my flesh to affirm that I am not just dreaming on it.I am all jittery, the quavering feeling keep crawling back to the bottom pit of my stomach, churning and fidgeting on all the possibilities that shit might happen.I do not want to jinx things by saying oh okay, I am going to sail this smoothly, as foreknow by me, I could turn out to be the most jinxed person in the entire world if I keep blabbing about it too much.

Not even when you are among the luckiest to be picked to enroll in this course which cost you almost nothing, in nearby regional state. And not even when you, might possibly, be the only few candidates from the country to be honored such expenses.

Ironically, they chose you to enroll in one of your favourite field, oral communication.The field that never turns me down as I always enjoyed any classes that involve the skills.And how the field that was perceived so comfortable before that I feel so inadequate now, I have no idea.I seriously have no slightest idea what made it sounds so freaking nightmarish. That I would succumb myself to be one huge embarrassment to myself.That I would stutter throughout my 4-weeks stints.That I couldn't even produce one humble piece of assignment.That I would go short of money that I start to lock myself in the hotel room.That I start failing miserably in the group works yada yada yada.Oh boy.

Maybe I should just stop yapping on the unforeseen events and start living for the moment.Because it's the proudest moment in my career that I should just relish and put the big smile on my face

1 comment:

mokja said...

Cik Olin,
Abah kata,kalau tak jatuh tersungkur,tak pengsan,masa kita buat presentation....itu kejayaan.
Tapi kalau dapat standing ovation...itu khayalan.
But I said..whatever the result,the work,the effort is the sum of it all.
Enjoy your 4 weeks there.Pi jalan jalan kalau ada peluang.And wink wink kalau ada ....

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just a normal average jane who loves to sleep n write whatever comes across her mind.

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